the relentless inevitability of Jesus...

i have had this tattoo since i was a 19-year-old wayward witch.

at the time, i had it carved into my flesh to symbolize what i felt was my undying devotion to the pagan gods of old; pan, the god of music, in particular. at the time, i thought i would be a witch forever.

funny how the meaning of "forever" changes as you mature......

and to be honest, in a juvenile, rebellious, counter-culture sort of way, i enjoyed snottily explaining to the "hoi polloi" that it was NOT a symbol of the devil thankyouverymuch; we witches did NOT worship satan!

thankfully, God is relentless in His love; He is inevitable in reclaiming His beloved creations.

He found me.

for a time i toyed with the idea of having the tattoo removed, but the technology to do so was imperfect and expensive. besides, it seemed deceitful, like i was trying to rewrite the past, and that just seemed wrong. i am not one to shy away from her mistakes: i face them, accept them, move forward.

for years, though, in the church, my tattoo raised eyebrows (and sadly, the fact that so many churches in toronto lack airconditioning made attending in a sleeveless top an inevitability). but i kept it as a symbol: as a reminder to myself that there was a time that i hadn't known the Truth; that i had not lived in the light and the love of Jesus Christ; that i had been a slave to sin and the darkeness....

foolishly, i thought THAT was my great "learning".

time and time again i hear from people who have been "de-churched" that they were driven out by the whispers, the judgemental gossip, the denigrating eyebrows, the clucking tongues. all the things my tattoo invited...

perhaps i haven't been subject to it long enough to it for it to bother me (oh wait - i was a jew AND a pagan! we wrote the book on nasty whispers, the judgemental gossip, denigrating eyebrows and clucking tongues). perhaps i am a more resilient person; perhaps being trained for ministry has simply ingrained in me a different perspective on the social dynamic in church. i don't know, but the superficial dissaproval never bothered me. indeed, i found it an effective tool for evangelism.

the comment was fairly standard: "oh my, do you think it's appropriate for you to be showing that in church??". the comment would come from the midst of a small group of congregants (because no one ever wants to be unpleasant without backup), and was accompanied by an upturn of an eyebrow, and a downturn of the mouth.

and so, because i have learned that there is no greater way to diffuse harsh feelings than with a hug and a laugh, each comment of this nature greeted with a hug and a laugh.

"its funny" i'd reply, "and an odd sort of thing for someone to show off, i agree, but you know what? i wear it with pride. this tattoo is my reminder of Christ's love, and His infinite mercy, and a testament to the fact that even a hopeless, worthless sinner like me might find a home in a church as wonderful as this. did i mention what a marvellous job you did this week with the flowers, olivia?"

the joy of such a rebuttal is that no matter how devout or secular you are, you simply can't argue with it.

and so it went for years: my tattoo would draw sneers and jeers, i'd explain its significance as a reminder of Christ's love for me, and sisters and brothers in Christ would be brought into a shared spiritual experience, their opinions respected, the peace restored.

and then, last year, "the lion the witch and the wardrobe" was released in theaters.

now, children come rushing forward to trace the outline of my tattoo, or in more vigorous cases, to pound the living daylights out of my arm crying out "mr. tumnes! mr. tumnes!"

the pagan god pan has become a christian icon.

and yet again, i was blessed with an epiphany: the apocalypse of annie, as it were.

Christ is inevitable, relentless. And let us bless and praise His name for that!

many people are disappointed that God doesn't seem to be working obvious miracles in the world anymore: there are no pillars of fire in the desert, no parting of any seas, no more prophets being slain by the hundreds. they see christianity being beaten back, stepped on, repressed. they think God is losing....

they are wrong.

those people might be missing the tiny, silent miracles that God is working in the world today. little miracles, like making a symbol of pagan identity a hallmark of christian piety. while we are all looking for vast, globe-spanning miracles, God - the master of the universe - is showing us that He is the master of time and history, changing 4000 years of meaning in a matter of months.

our God truly is an amazing God.

Amen.