random thoughts
as i enter into the final phase of the internship - the debriefing period - wherein all my "challenges" (read 'flaws') are laid out on a platter for me to behold, i find myself in a roughly parallel conversation with a truly lovely man that seems to feel the need to impress upon me that no matter how fond of him i might be, he is a flawed human being and i really shouldn't think as highly of him as i do.
these conversations have collided to teach me what i believe is a fundamental lesson:
don't be in such a hurry to advertise your flaws.
a) (as i have discovered over the course of this internship) YOU are likely the only person that notices them, or that they even matter to. other people see other things in you, just as you view others differently than you do yourself.
b) if your flaws are glaring enough, people will eventually see them on their own - you have no need to jump up and down and stamp your feet to call attention to them. but (as is happening with that lovely man i mentioned above) by the time faults and flaws become apparent, you've had time to demonstrate just what a terrific person you are as well; and suddenly, in the broader context of your life, those faults aren't quite as glaring as you might think they are.
c) do not automatically assume that others will share your opinion of what is, or is not, a "character flaw". some less savoury personality traits can be quite endearing, and it may just turn out that what you think drives people crazy about you is actually something that brings a smile to their lips.
so, relax..............
posted by AMackid @ 7:16 AM
7 Comments:
I'm awful with flaws...I'm always seeing them in a lot of things I do and then I get all worked up about it and nervous, and it turns out not to be a big deal after all....both my parents are perfectionists...probably where i get it from!
isn't it nice to know you can relax and just be you - trusting that the WHOLE PACKAGE is lovable?
sometimes even difficult quirks are the spice that make one person delicious to another. if a person is too perfect, too pure, too unflawed... the are just.... well.... boring.
i'd rather a relationship with the jalapeno peppers of the world than the white-bread-with-mayonnaise types...
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Yes, it IS nice to be loved for who you are..I try to be just myself no matter where I am...sometimes I succed at doing this and other times I don't, but I still can't help myself from getting all worried/nervous over what turns out to be nothing...it's just a trait of my personality that I've tried endlessly to overcome, but rarely can.
I'm not saying I try to be perfect, because I know that's impossible, and I agree, would be extremely boring. Who'd want to be around somebody who is just plain, perfect, and boring? You're right, very few, if any.
Though it seems every time I try to be myself somebody overrides me and it doesn't work...meaning that "being myself" includes ME....which is quiet, layed back, thinks deeply, thinks before speaking...etc...let's just say I express myself better in writing/thought than speaking outloud...Whenever I try to do something spontaneous, I usually end up backing off....it seems as though I have characteristics that contradict one another, making it even harder to figure out WHO I AM...i can be talkative or quiet, i am generally mature, intelligent, but then it turns out I have no common sense whatsoever...
anyway, that's the beggining gist of it, and i've gone on too long...!! :)
you absolutely have not gone on too long - your thoughts are wonderful to read, and a welcome contribution to any debate!
as one possessed of a "unique" personality, it took me a VERY long time to accept that i will not "click" with everybody (which is fine), but those that i do "click" with become life-long companions.
quality over quantity: its a tough lesson, but one i was grateful to learn :)
you know yourself best of all - be true to that. and before i make anyone throw up with these boring platitudes, i'll shut up now :)
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Thanks. Yes, I can definitely identify with the not "clicking" part...there's a few people, but, as you said, quality over quantity....i do generally have quite a few people i talk to, but very few that i really talk to...do you know what i mean? and i think that's okay....because i don't like crowds or anything involving lots of people, whether i know them or not.....so, i'm good with where i'm at and i guess i'll just have to see where life takes me.
you said your personality is "unique", well, i'm sure whatever traits you have it makes you you....makes you different from everyone else, in a good way.
people who try to be like others end up nowhere...but those who strive for their own path in life, they're the ones who truly succeed.
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