weekly report week 4

Church of the Resurrection, Intern’s Weekly Report

May 23, 2006 – May 30, 2006

1 Peter 4:12-13, 16 12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.

Brutal. Just brutal. How crushing pastoral ministry can be.

This week alone has taught me what a burden visiting with parishioners can truly be.

On Tuesday I had a pastoral visit with my friend James, an expert in running day camps. We met at Casey’s and he provided me with tremendous insight into managing parents in a camp situation, something I had never even considered. He also volunteered his time during the camp, and provided me a list of 25 “rainy day” games he had personally compiled for the city of Toronto. There were tortilla chips and a spinach-asparagus dip involved in this meeting. Brutal.

Wednesday was terrible. I met with Deborah and her four children, each of whom is struggling with a case of terminal adorability, at the science center. Deborah and I shared a conversation contrasting and comparing the Rez to previous religious experiences Deborah has had, and I was forced to engage with her children over games and activities that taught us about genetics, the human body, and geology. Her third youngest, Zion, was particularly onerous as he simply could not get enough of being sneezed on by the “sneeze machine”; and the baby, Emmaus, was an utter terror as he insisted on cuddling and being hugged every few minutes.

Wednesday night was worse. I met with Janice, a new parishioner, over a massive plate of sushi and seafood soup. We talked about her experiences as a Christian, an unfortunate incident with a Jewish boss, her search for Christian friends and the place of God and the church in her life. Then we strolled down Bloor Street together before I headed east to meet with the group from church to talk about the DaVinci Code over pizza and bruschetta. I was forced by circumstance to buy an adorable purse that we found at a street vendor, and Janice and I splurged on several packages of incense. Ministry can be a terribly burdensome thing some days.

Monday was a new low as I met with Jill. We met to discuss our common situation as Christian women who were actively dating; struggling to figure out how God fit into that equation. To my deep distress, I was forced to sit out in the sunshine on the restaurant patio and sip icy cold diet coke and eating an enormous fajita as we chatted. I am still floored by the sacrifices I make for the Church:

I don’t like fajitas.

ah! the filioque!

from a wonderful discussion had with doug.......

The Nicene Creed is the definitive statement of Christian orthodoxy.

Origins of the Nicene Creed
The Nicene Creed was formulated at the First Ecumenical Council at Nicea in AD 325 to combat Arianism, and it was expanded at the Second Ecumenical Council at Constantinople in AD 381 to balance its coverage of the Trinity by including the Holy Spirit. It is the only creed that was promulgated by any of the seven ecumenical councils and thus it is the only creed that is truly ecumenical and universal. In the Orthodox Church, it is the only creed.

The New Testament and the Nicene Creed are deeply entangled with each other. The wording and the concepts in the Nicene Creed come from the New Testament—in fact, one of the most important debates at the Council of Nicea concerned whether it is proper to include a word in the Nicene Creed that does not occur in the New Testament. On the other hand, at the time that the Church issued the official canon of the New Testament, it customarily compared writings to the Nicene Creed to determine if they were orthodox. So you are correct if you say that the Nicene Creed proceeds from the New Testament, and you are correct if you say that the New Testament is certified by the Nicene Creed.

To put it more precisely, the Nicene Creed and the canon of the New Testament were formed together as part of the same process.

The Nicene Council and the Trinity
The Nicene Council did not invent the Trinity in the early fourth century, as some people imagine. A full century before the Nicene Council, Tertullian wrote a voluminous explanation and defense of the Trinity and was viewed by his third-century contemporaries as defending the orthodox Christian faith to nonbelievers. A couple of decades before Tertullian, Clement of Alexandria and Irenaeus, bishops at opposite ends of the Mediterranean basin, both taught the Trinity. A half century or more before Irenaeus and Clement, we find Trinitarian teachings in the authentic works of Justin Martyr, who died in 157. St. Ignatius, a respected bishop, was martyred in his old age. On his way to his martyrdom, he wrote epistles to the churches along the way, making theological statements that are best understood in the context of Trinitarian theology. It is important to note that Ignatius was born about AD 33 and that during his adulthood, people who had known the apostles were still alive. Finally, the Didache, an ancient manual of church discipline that could possibly date from the middle of the first century, quotes the Trinitarian formula of Matthew 28:19 in its instructions for baptism.

We can trace the dogma of the Trinity straight back to apostolic times. We have it from the pens of bishops and theologians who were charged with preserving and passing on the faith and who lived all over the Mediterranean basin. From this we can only conclude that mainstream theology in the ancient church before the Council of Nicea was Trinitarian.

The filioque Clause
In AD 589, a church council in Toledo, Spain, modified the Nicene Creed so that the Holy Spirit is said to proceed from the Father and the Son. (In Latin, and the Son is filioque, so this is known as the filioque clause.) There may not have been any particular motive for this change, because it looks like something a scribe would do to mend the text. It is also possible that the change was intended to strengthen the defense of the Trinity. The filioque clause spread through the western part of the church. In 796, Paulinus of Aquileia defended the filioque clause at the Synod of Friuli, which indicates that it was opposed, and after about 800 it crept into the liturgy in the Frankish Empire. Some Frankish monks used the filioque clause in their monastery in Jerusalem in 807, but eastern monks disputed it as improper. Because the Frankish monks were from the west, the matter was escalated to the bishop of Rome (Pope Leo III). He approved of the sentiment, but he opposed the change in the wording. Leo arranged for the creed in its original form (without the filioque clause) to be engraved on silver tablets and he had them placed at St. Peter’s tomb. After the split between Rome and Constantinople, the filioque clause became part of the Nicene Creed in the Roman Catholic Church. This happened at the Council of Lyons, in France, in 1274.

In 1439, at the Roman Catholic Council of Florence, the Roman Catholic Church invited the Eastern Orthodox Churches and attempted a reunion. There were many issues, some of which seem trivial today, but the most important ones were the papacy and the filioque clause in the Creed, which is our subject here.

The Orthodox delegates to the council agreed to everything the Catholics wanted, but they were under pressure. At the time, Islam was spreading by warfare, and Orthodox lands were under attack. All attempts to make peace had failed. The Orthodox wanted military aid from the west, and the pope agreed to help them, but only if they signed the agreement. So they all did, except for Markos Eugenikos, the titular bishop of Ephesus. He did not sign the agreement because he thought it was a sell-out. The pope announced that without Markos’ signature the deal was off. When the Orthodox delegation returned home, only Markos was hailed as a hero, because he was the only one who did not compromise his integrity—the others regretted their actions. In the west, Markos is viewed as the man who prevented the unity of the church. In the east, he is St. Mark of Ephesus, “the conscience of Orthodoxy.”

The Orthodox do not accept the filioque clause for scriptural, theological, and procedural reasons:

Scriptural Reasons
The Orthodox argue from Scripture that the Father sends the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name (John 14:26). Jesus says that the Holy Spirit will come, not that He will send the Holy Spirit. Therefore, the Holy Spirit only proceeds from the Father. Saying “and the Son” adds to the Scriptural revelation. Catholics feel that Scriptural references to the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of Christ validate the filioque clause.

Theological Reasons
To the Orthodox, saying that the Spirit proceeds from both the Father and the Son has the effect of collapsing the Trinity in on itself. The relationship between the Father and the Son is begetting and the relationship between the Father and the Spirit is procession. Catholics feel the filioque clause strengthens the dogma of the Trinity.

Procedural Reasons
The Orthodox maintain that one part of the Church does not have the authority to change what is the property of the whole Church. Since Canon VII of the Third Ecumenical Council at Ephesus in AD 431 is still in effect, the Nicene Creed can only be changed by a true Ecumenical Council. The Catholics believe that the Council of Lyons in 1274 was ecumenical. Whether or not it was ecumenical depends on your view of the jurisdiction of the pope, so that goes back to the issue of the papacy.

Protestants inherited the filioque clause from the Roman Catholic Church. After recent consultations with the Orthodox, the US Episcopal Church agreed to drop the filioque clause from the Nicene Creed in their next version of the Book of Common Prayer.

The Importance of the Nicene Creed Today
The Church formulated the Nicene Creed before it selected certain apostolic writings, called them the New Testament, and declared them to be Holy Scripture. Another way of looking at it is that God chose the people who were bound by the Nicene Creed to affirm the contents of the New Testament, thereby endorsing the theology of the creed. The Nicene Creed is therefore a reliable test of our interpretation of the New Testament. If we are at variance with the Nicene Creed, we are in error. So whoever denies the Trinity must also deny the New Testament, and whoever upholds the New Testament as Holy Scripture must also affirm the Trinity.

In the beginning, the Church did not have a formal creed, nor did it have a formal list of the books in the New Testament. Then it formulated the Nicene Creed to express its doctrines and to serve as a test of orthodox teaching. So for a while there was a Church with the Nicene Creed but, even though it used the books of the New Testament as Holy Scripture, it had no official statement saying that they were. After the Church was bound by the Nicene Creed, it made a formal list of the books in the New Testament. Therefore, whoever attempts to reconstruct the ancient Church with an official list of New Testament books but without the Nicene Creed is reconstructing an imaginary church that never existed. This doesn’t mean their church is invalid, it just means that it isn’t a historic reconstruction, because in any part of Church history in which there was an official list of New Testament books, the Nicene Creed was the official expression of faith and the final test of orthodoxy.

The Nicene Creed in Worship
Traditional liturgical worship always includes the Nicene Creed whenever there is Communion. It is a corporate proclamation that corresponds to the Shema (“Hear, O Israel, the Lord thy God is one”) in the synagogue liturgy.

For More Insight…
The Nicene Creed was specifically designed to combat Arianism, Manicheanism, Apollinarianism, and Monarchianism (and its variants, Modalism, Patripassianism, and Sabellianism). You can get greater insight into the Nicene Creed by understanding the heresies it was meant to combat.

You can also read a timeline comparing the formation of the New Testament canon with the history of the Nicene Creed.

Note that the creed uses the word ‘catholic’ in its dictionary meaning of ‘universal.’

The Text of the Nicene Creed
We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.
We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through Him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
He came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
He became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake He was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
He suffered death and was buried.
On the third day He rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
He ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and His kingdom will have no end.
We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father.*
With the Father and the Son He is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come. AMEN.

*Roman Catholics and Protestants add ‘and the Son’ at this point.

hi duke

yesterday i dropped deborah an email thanking her for inviting her friend jane to church on sunday, and expressing the hope that we'd see jane again when she was in toronto. this was deb's response:

Thanks. She really enjoyed it. She's always wondered how I could worship in such an evangelical church given how liberal we were (and we were VERY liberal in seminary). Now she gets it. She was amazed by Duke's sermon and impressed that he's pretty consistent, as well as the hospitality at the Rez - which is becoming legendary. She was the second person/family I've invited to church this year, and both arrived before I did. When I got there others had already reached out their hand in welcome and knew who I was to connect them. Pretty cool given how unfriendly much of churchland can be for strangers.

deb gave me permission to share that with you.

a

St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast

Navigating the precipitous downward stairs to Lynn's apartment is akin to an only moderately controlled descent down the north face of Everest wearing a breezy lilac themed skirt and snappy slingbacks with a round toe and charming ankle buckle whilst carrying a fourteen pound purse.

Those crazy Kiwi climbers got nothing on me, I think.

Granted those stairs are set in a lovely and lush garden and lead down to the apartment that Lynne is renting from one of our other congregants – Mary – who owns the charming house under which the apartment is snuggled; and granted that the day is warm and only moderately overcast with a thin, greyish drizzle of rain, and granted that the concrete stairs are straight, clean and well maintained, the risers plumb and unbroken; that narrow and treacherous descent invariably fills me with the thrill of danger each time I come to visit.

Helping Lynn move into her apartment was an exercise in terror that left me feeling more alive and invigorated than I had ever felt before. I mean, we moved her in winter! We could have all been killed.

Grabbing the railing with one hand, I tiptoe downwards, and the sound of laughter slips up the staircase to greet me. Making it down the last few risers without tripping and fracturing my skull on the opposing concrete wall, or otherwise mangling myself or ruining a delightful spring outfit with blood, I push open the door and the smell of maple syrup and delicately frying sausages embraces me and pulls me deeper into the apartment. Casting off my slingbacks in favours of cooling my toes on the stone tiled floor, I peek around the corner of the entrance hall and into the kitchen. Lulu catches sight of me peeping at them and waves a cheery hello. I slip past her, wrap Lynne in a quick hug, my mouth watering shamelessly at the delicious smells colonizing the apartment and meander into the living room where Joan and Dave are chatting with Corey. The conversation, unsurprisingly, revolves around vacuum cleaners.

I settle into the couch beside Corey and commiserate with him as he bemoans the fact that the church’s vacuum cleaner is kaput.

“The power head is broken. There’s a crack where the rotor meets the intake port.”

Oddly enough, I am fascinated.

“They need a better turbo charged suction head. Right now all we have is the power head, and the differential ambient pressure isn’t enough to really get the carpet clean.”

I have no idea what he is talking about, but I know an expert when I see one. I think of the broken down Electrolux in my mother’s garage.

“What about an Oreck?” I ask, thinking of belated mother’s day gifts.

“Orecks are good vacuums,” he posits. “But if you really want a good vacuum, you need a Kenmore.” He nods his head sagely, like a guru enlightening his disciples.

“I have a power suction nozzle for a Kenmore, and now all I have to do is find the right vacuum to go with it.”

I tell him about the corpse of the Electrolux in the garage. He is instantly intrigued.

“Upright or canister?”

“Canister.” I tell him.

“1400 watt?”

“Ummm…I guess.”

“Hepa 12?”

“Sure.”

“3.5 litres?”

“Yup.”

Corey settles back contentedly, his back curved into the couch, a look of utter contentment on his face.

“That’s a good vacuum you have there.”

Weekly Report: Week Three

Church of the Resurrection, Intern’s Weekly Report
Week 3
May 15, 2006 – May 22, 2006

Every bursted bubble has a glory! Each abysmal failure makes a point!
Every glowing path that goes astray, Shows you how to find a better way.
So every time you stumble never grumble. Next time you'll bumble even less!
For up from the ashes, up from the ashes, grow the roses of success!

- Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

This week has been one the transitional one that I was hoping for; the week where the panic eases, the road ahead seems straighter, and the rhythm of this bi-vocational life finds its stride.

I expect that I had so hyped the expectation of the pressure I’d be under that the fact that carrying two loads is not nearly as bad as I expected sometimes worries me. I panic because I am not stressed; I shudder because I am in a good mood. I am deeply troubled that I am enjoying this so much. I think my concerns are because I generally associate “results” and “achieving goals” with “running myself ragged”; but as I consult my learning goals for the internship I see that they are being met in a timely fashion: I am getting out or calling out for visits (even though they sometimes have to be rescheduled); the cool school and the day camp are coming together at a good pace, reports and journals are getting written, meetings are fruitful, I feel as though my personal prayer and devotional time is gradually moving me into a deeper life in Christ and well…. I am having fun.

There. I’ve said it. I am loving every minute of this.

For an introvert, making that initial contact is tough, but not an insurmountable hurdle; and once I am engaged with a person, I enjoy every moment of that contact. I love the time after church (though I am still deeply embarrasses at how many names I don’t yet know, and should!) talking to the congregation, persuading potential volunteers to become actual volunteers, catching up on people’s week, listening to personal stories, feeling the movement in the congregations life and feeling very much a part of it. I love the Sunday afternoon/ Monday phone calls made to people that I didn’t see in church to find out how they are – they generally turn into very fruitful “phone visits”. I love figuring out the names of our children, and which one belongs to whom under the clever guise of playing with them after the service, and I am even beginning to enjoy the service itself as the ebb and flow of ministry finds its own stride.

I’ve learned to mitigate the worst of my fears: the financial ones by working from home as much as possible, or scheduling several visits in the same general area on the same day to save on gas, and to save on cell phone calls by phoning out from work, and beyond that, my other great fear – that I would not be able to find a sufficient number of volunteers for our needs is also falling by the wayside as each day, each week, someone new steps forward and raises their hand.

Who knew all you had to do was trust God?

Weekly Report: Week Two

Church of the Resurrection
Intern’s Weekly Report
Week 2
May 07, 2006 – May 14, 2006

Week two has been a week of contrasts: of frustration and relief, or excitement and discouragement, of fatigue and enthusiasm.

Sundays are crushing – and when I explain that to people there is always the inevitable “day of rest” joke thrown in. I am up at 6 and in bed some time after midnight (this week will be even worse as they are closing the DVP and I will need to take “the long way” to and from Church). I try to schedule Monday appointments later in the morning so I can catch some sleep – but then I look at that “blank unit” on Monday and have a small panic attack. What if the bishop calls me on it? What if he says I am not putting in the hours I should be?

I am noticing something odd and unexpected, though, in my bi-vocational life: I seem to have raised the bar across the board. The quality of my work at CIBC has improved, and even been commented on by higher-ups; it’s as if I am unable to fully compartmentalize the various segments of my life.

This is a good thing, as I am a deeply holistic thinker – and this is why I think the time I treasure most with Duke is when he leans back in his chair, folds his arms behind his head, screws his eyes shut and begins to unpack the theology of a given issue with me. I loathe “systematic” theology – and I am aware that I barely squeaked by on that course. Its not that I don’t understand it, it’s that my mind doesn’t work that way and I had NO idea what it was they wanted in terms of the assignments. I am actually disturbed that I could hand in a book report on a book I hadn’t read more than a chapter of, and still score a high-70 mark simply because I was able to pad it with the most ridiculous double-speak and jargon imaginable.

I resent that this rigid and limited method of studying theology is the latest fashion in academia; and am grateful that Duke, while clearly fluent in the subject of theology, has a much more grounded approach to its application. He has no need to resort to the excessively technical language that frankly, is the bane of modern theology.

I am frustrated as well to learn that rigid time management is not necessarily effective time management. A simple, two hour meeting with a congregant laid to rest every fear I have over the cool school; whereas prolonged and unscheduled trips to the hospital with a friend resulted in my having to bump visits with parishioners. While I understand that no minister in his right mind would refuse to help anyone simply because they are not a member of his congregation (or even necessarily a Christian), I do resent Donna making me feel bad because I have other appointments that conflict with her hospital trips. I do realize that taking her for her treatments likely counts as a pastoral visit, but I am so frustrated when I try to work my schedule around her and she bursts into tears because she is not my top priority. Or maybe I am just a really insensitive person.

I don’t know.

sermon

What is the shape of Christian Love?


Me.

It’s all about ME.

For the last several weeks, in exploring 1 John, Duke has shared with us selections from contemporary music. Each song has expressed the feelings, needs and observations of today’s secular youth, but they all have one thing in common.

They are all about ME.

MY life is awful, I am so unhappy, no one loves ME, I am suffering and without hope….and on and on.

These may be valid sentiments, and valid emotions, but they are all about ME. All of these songs are written in the first person, about the first person. ME.

One of the things that I had hoped to cover this morning is the idea that Christian love does NOT have the shape of a “me”; it is shaped like an “us”.

So I tried to find a contemporary song that really captures that idea, one that speaks of the unity of the world and about the fact that we are ALL part of the problem and that we are ALL part of the solution.

And you know what? I couldn’t do it.

I recruited a gang of experts (and by experts I mean people 20 years younger than me) and THEY couldn’t do it! Oh people suggested anti-war songs, political commentary songs, songs about the ills of society; and while the spirit of social criticism is alive and well in modern music, the idea that we are all in this together is not.

Now perhaps my musical ‘experts’ aren’t actually such experts; but they were all stumped.

FINALLY, after vigorous discussion and lively debate we found something: hands up if you remember this:

(play clip of “We are the World” – first few verses plus chorus; perhaps to before fade-out?)

We are the World, We are the Children.

We had to go back to 1985 to find a pop song that spoke of US as a people – and by that I don’t necessarily mean Christians; I mean US as a world.

All of the songs that we have been hearing speak of a generation that feels completely cut off from one another, alone, disenfranchised, unwanted, alienated….unloved. I am sure there are many, many of us here that can relate to those feelings as well, be it on an occasional or ongoing basis. But the message we receive in today’s scripture talks about the antidote, the cure for the malaise that affects us all, the one thing that can truly solve all of the problems we have been hearing about these last few weeks, the one thing that can heal the hurts of world: LOVE.

We're all a part of God's great big family
And the truth You know love is all we need

If we simply love one another, no-one ever need be alone, unloved, unsupported, uncared for, lonely or without hope. If we simply love one another, believe it or not, it’ll all be ok.

And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. This is what John writes. Simple.

We know it – we’ve heard it millions of times in church, at home, at school, at work…in the clip of the song we just played: love one another. John himself says right at the start of this section this is the message you heard from the beginning:

This isn’t news. This message hasn’t changed. EVER.

As I began my journey into Christ and Christianity, naturally this was something that I was forced to think about. As a Christian, I was now “required” to love everyone as Christ did. And I will tell you I did an awful lot of thinking about what exactly that meant.

There are so many different expressions of love that we go through in our lives; we even go through several different variants during the day. There is the love we feel for our husbands or wives, the love we feel for our children and parents; the love we feel for our pets, our friends, the love we feel for God, the special love of a mother that we celebrate today…. Love is a huge, rich, complicated emotion.

As an exercise, I went online and looked up the definition of “love”. Just to see what others had to say on the subject. I found a website for an organization called the “Society of the Universal Living Christ”. Now I will admit I have no idea who they are, but they did have definition of love on their website.

They defined love as a Primary Principle and a prime virtue, is the feminine Mother aspect of God, nourishing and sustaining as the Substance of which everything is created. Love is the cohesive power of attraction throughout the universes. The 2nd Emanation, the Mother-God Principle contains all Feminine Aspects of God as Personality; it is the Blue Ray of Love or blue color of Principle as the Mother.

As I read this definition and turned it over in my mind, I couldn’t help thinking “huh?” Blue ray? Second emanation? Does Duke know about this????

But in all seriousness it did hammer home the point that “love”, as a discrete notion, is a dynamic and complicated one.

So what kind of love is Christian love? Well, first of all, it’s not the kind of love we feel for our partners: God isn’t expecting us to summon those rich and layered feelings that we reserve for our spouses each time we encounter another Christian. Nor is He expecting that we treat each fellow Christian as a parent or child, although there is a measure of that to it, I think. The emphasis is more on a brotherly (or sisterly) kind of love – indeed, in the original Greek, the word that is translated here as “children” or “brother” is the same word in the original text: adelphos, or “one who has come from the same womb”. There is an implicit plurality here – many who have come from the same place; there is a sense of the same origin, that we are united because we all come from the same parent.

Christian love is not a “me”, it’s a “we”. That is the shape that it takes.

“They will know we are Christians by our love.” It’s a hymn we’ve all sung before, but for many years each time I heard those words I wondered what that meant. HOW would anyone looking at us KNOW that we are Christians? If we weren’t sitting in a Church, or holding bibles, would anyone be able to look at us and KNOW that we are Christians simply by watching the way we treat each other?

Well, ideally, yes. And John shows us how to make that idea a reality.

First, John gives us commandments as to how we can demonstrate our love for one another: he says right off the top “don’t kill each other”. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a good start, yes? Not killing someone is a great way to show that you care about him or her.

12Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous.

I had to read that one a few times because I had the sense that there was something WAY bigger going on here than just the story of Cain and Abel. Cain killed Abel, as far as we know, out of jealousy, or feelings of inferiority brought about by the realization that Cain had failed where Abel had not. At some point in our lives we will all go through the feelings Cain did. We will all feel as though we got it wrong and the guy beside us got it right and we’ll probably get mad.

Bono once said – and is it just me or are you starting to feel like Bono is a member of this congregation?? – Bono once said that the difference between an Irishman and an American is that an American will walk by a huge, multi-million dollar mansion with its wrought iron fence and mile long driveway and say to himself “one day, I’M gonna be that guy”. An Irishman will walk past that same mansion and say to himself “one day I’m gonna get that son of a gun”.

John says “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?” Good question! John reminds us that charity, sharing and ministering to the poor are critical components of Christian love. We heard it earlier in ‘We are the World’

We are the world, we are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving

Giving is a basic expression of Christian love.

John continues: Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him

FF Bruce had this to say on the subject of this passage “If murder, the end product of hatred, proves that eternal life is absent, so does the root principle of hatred itself”. In simple English? “Don’t even go there, people”. Hatred spells the end of all love, all unity, all Christianity.

But there’s a danger in this passage here; and isn’t there always danger? The bible is a dangerous book! The danger is that we fall into the trap of trying to figure out how Christian we are and how Christian our neighbour is by using this section of scripture as a checklist:

Hmmm…joe hasn’t killed anyone….check
He believes in Jesus…check
Gives his money to the poor…..check
Oh, wait! Sorry – I know he hates Randolph because I heard him say that…sorry! Guess joe’s just not one of us!

Don’t laugh – there are people that do this!

Second, in contrast, John says keep it simple: let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Being a Christian is not about what you say. It’s about what you do. SAYING you are a Christian no more makes you one than sitting in a garage makes you a Honda civic, or something to that effect.

Being a Christian is something you do each and every day by laying your life down for your fellow Christian as Jesus laid his life down for us. Now that “laying down your life” is talking simply about sacrifice, the little (and sometimes the huge) sacrifices we have to make for one another in order to make this “we” work: sacrificing some of our own “me” time to have lunch with someone that is lonely; sacrificing the money we’d have spent on a new pair of shoes or a shirt so that a neighbour’s kid can go to day camp; sacrificing the momentary gratification that a snarky comment might give us in favour of sparing a neighbour’s feelings, sacrificing some family time to volunteer for a project that benefits the whole community and so on and so on.

It’s those little sacrifices, mirrors of Christ’s enormous one, that make us the WE that we are.

Christians.

And third; they’re gonna hate us for it.

John makes that clear, he warns us – there will be no “wow, aren’t those Christians amazing?” each time we succeed in showing how we love to the world. There will be no “Christians are really fabulous people!” or “I wanna be a Christian because they’re spiffy!”

No as our reward, they well tell us “you can’t put up a picture of Jesus at your desk because you might offend someone else”.

They will tell us that we cannot teach our children in schools that God created the world.

They will tell us to that we can’t wish people a merry Christmas, or a happy Easter.

Look around you….look at the world around you, WATCH as Christianity – is trimmed back, stomped on, sneered at.

But that’s ok. We knew it was coming. We just have to keep on keeping on, as they say, loving one another, supporting one another; and in this way will “we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him” and in this way we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

Because quite frankly, its up to us to hold tight to being an “us”, and not give into the temptation to be a “me” because its easier, less costly, more convenient, or in keeping with the state of the world around us.

And HOW do we keep that “we” shape to the love we share as Christians?

(perhaps replay this section so that the question is answered with the song itself?)


“We can't go on pretending day by day
That someone, somehow will soon make a change We're all a part of God's great big family And the truth You know love is all we need”

someone is waiting for a call

(with many thanks to Stuart in Brisbane for forwarding this to me)

As you got up this morning, I watched you, and hoped you would talk to As you got up this morning, I watched you, and hoped you would talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday. But I noticed you were busy, trying to find the right clothes to throw on.

When you ran around the house getting ready, I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello, but you were busy.At one point you had to wait, fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair. Then I saw you jump to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me but you grabbed the mobile and sms’d a friend to grab the latest goss instead.

I watched patiently all day long. With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me. I noticed that before lunch you looked around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk to me: that’s probably why you didn't bow your head. You scanned 3 or 4 tables over noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn't. That's ok. There was still more time left, and I hoped that you would talk to me yet.

You drove home with the cd on, and it seems as if you had lots of things planned to do. After a few of them were done, you turned on that great new plasma TV. I don't know if you like it or not, just about anything gets on there. You spend a lot of time each day in front of it chilling out, just enjoying the show. I waited patiently again as you watched the reality shows and ate your meal, but again you didn't talk to me.Bedtime – well, I guess you felt too tired. After you said goodnight to your family you flopped into bed and fell asleep in no time.

That's fine, because you may not realise that I am always there for you. I've got a ton of patience, much more than you will ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well.I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer or thought or a thankful part of your heart. But it’s hard to have a one-sidedchat. Well, you are getting up once again. And once again I will wait, with nothing but love for you.

Hoping that today we’ll spend some time together in conversation. Your best friend always,

GOD

Verbatim Report #1

Church of the Resurrection

Intern’s Verbatim Report

I have the pleasure of being able to communicate with one of our younger parishioners via online messaging systems (both msnmessenger and skype). This has the advantage of preserving all conversations for greater facility in creating this verbatim report.

This conversation took place after a birthday party that was held for another one of our congregants, who through misadventure, manage to miss his own celebration.

Excerpted transcript is as follows:

Created on 2006-05-04 16:15:10.

2006-04-30

Andrea: 16:35:21

hey - check this out!

Andrea: 16:35:22

http://www.ontariorenaissancefaire.ca/

Lulu at the Rez: 16:36:14

k

Lulu at the Rez: 16:40:16

ohhh that looks like fun!

Lulu at the Rez: 16:40:19

we need to go! :P

Andrea: 16:41:10

yep. no posted dates for 2006 yet

Andrea: 16:41:21

i have it bookmarked and will keep checking back though

Lulu at the Rez: 16:41:57

k...

Lulu at the Rez: 16:42:06

i totally would love to go if a group is going!

Andrea: 16:42:15

heck - i'd go anyway!

Andrea: 16:42:28

who could say no to jesters, wenches and men with bagpipes??

Andrea: 16:42:31

(chuckle)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:43:02

....ya... and men in tights! :P

Andrea: 16:43:59

so are we losing you the salvation army??? (chuckle)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:44:36

NO.......

Lulu at the Rez: 16:44:41

they are too young!

Andrea: 16:44:42

:D

Lulu at the Rez: 16:44:54

:)

Andrea: 16:44:59

there may be others. young men travel in packs, i hear ]:)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:45:58

ya... this is true...

Lulu at the Rez: 16:46:09

we'll see what happens..but i'm thinking i'm just too ugly for dating.

Andrea: 16:46:34

hon - that is about as far from "true" as you can get!!!

Lulu at the Rez: 16:46:46

ummm no it isn't.

Andrea: 16:46:46

you are a very lovely woman, easy on the eyes....

Lulu at the Rez: 16:46:49

nope...

Lulu at the Rez: 16:46:56

but that's ok.. i'm cool with it...

Lulu at the Rez: 16:47:02

u dont' need to try to change the way life is for me!

Andrea: 16:47:19

i am gald you are - but it don't make it true. remember, i am 38 and still single!!

Andrea: 16:47:24

but i have learned one thing

Andrea: 16:47:29

it's not up to us

Andrea: 16:47:34

it's up to God

Andrea: 16:47:38

(blush)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:47:50

yeppers

Andrea: 16:47:54

we just have to go along with His plans for us (chuckle)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:48:07

yeppers...

Andrea: 16:48:14

here's a laugh: i am convinced aliens are following me around and abducting men that have any interest in me

Lulu at the Rez: 16:50:17

weird boys are weird...

Lulu at the Rez: 16:50:22

i don't want them!

Lulu at the Rez: 16:50:32

just some sex.. then it's all good LOL

Andrea: 16:50:54

(chuckle)

Andrea: 16:51:33

the only guys that stick around me have nose hair so aggressive it looks like an ingrown moustache

Andrea: 16:51:44

and one whose breath knocks buzzards out of trees

Lulu at the Rez: 16:51:47

nice... i just get guys that want to sleep with me

Lulu at the Rez: 16:51:55

and that's not really what i'm looking for

Andrea: 16:52:14

no-one is. the older i get, the more i think God might be right about that too!

Andrea: 16:52:17

(chuckle)

Andrea: 16:52:19

who knew?

Lulu at the Rez: 16:52:35

.....yep......but it could be a lot of fun!

Andrea: 16:52:58

yeah, but as you know, guys who get that don't stick around

Andrea: 16:53:01

(blush)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:53:22

ya but it still could be fun...

Lulu at the Rez: 16:53:22

:P

Andrea: 16:53:30

(chuckle)

Andrea: 16:53:56

i think i personally am too old for that kind of 'fun'.

Lulu at the Rez: 16:54:16

i betta not be too old for that fun!

Lulu at the Rez: 16:54:20

at your age!

Lulu at the Rez: 16:54:38

;)

Andrea: 16:55:04

i mean 'extramarital' sex. i don't think you are ever too old to enjoy a husband, though!

Andrea: 16:55:07

(chuckle)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:55:23

.....that's what i meant too!

Andrea: 16:55:32

i am too old to 'mess around'. like i said, i am starting to agree with God.

Andrea: 16:55:36

:P

Lulu at the Rez: 16:55:39

i know...

Lulu at the Rez: 16:55:46

i'm not into that scene...

Andrea: 16:55:47

not an easy choice though....

Lulu at the Rez: 16:56:18

ya.... well my own experience didn't really make me want to jump back at it any time soon! LOL

Andrea: 16:56:33

yes!! i think its a matter of self respect, too

Andrea: 16:56:41

why give away the milk for free? as they say

Andrea: 16:56:48

we need men who will buy the cow

Andrea: 16:56:51

(chuckle)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:57:22

yep... i'm not messing around with anyone ever again.

Andrea: 16:57:44

amen! me neither

Andrea: 16:58:01

so i am just going to wait and trust that in His own time God will send me the right man

Andrea: 16:58:16

and in the mean time, i am going to a lot of renaissance faires

Andrea: 16:58:23

to look at men in tights

Andrea: 16:58:25

(chuckle)

Lulu at the Rez: 16:58:39

....lol

Lulu at the Rez: 16:58:41

it's all good!

Andrea: 16:58:55

it is indeed. especially if they are pirates

Andrea: 16:59:00

(clap)

Lulu at the Rez: 17:01:05

lol...i'm thinking it might be fun to take lots of photos!

Andrea: 17:01:19

of....pirates??

Lulu at the Rez: 17:02:18

well yes.. and other things at the fairs... :P

Andrea: 17:02:26

(clap)

Andrea: 17:02:29

i get copies!!

At this point in the conversation, I was sent an email by Lulu with the details of her Breast Cancer Fund Raising efforts. There was no further online conversation.

Reflection:

The key points that jump out at me from a pastoral point of view are Lulu’s feelings that she is “too ugly to date” and the notion of Christian chastity and the church.

Both are tied in together. I will admit to the ability to relate to Lulu’s feelings of ‘being too ugly’ and not wanting to date. In my twenties, and well into my thirties, I struggled with a weight problem and became a huge champion of the right to be a “BBW” (a big beautiful woman) in our culture. It’s a losing battle. In my mid thirties, however, I came to the conclusion that the “BBW” approach was counter-intuitive, as obesity was a health problem and not something to be lifted up and glorified. So I decided to shed some weight for the good of my health while I was young enough for it to have some benefits to my wellbeing.

In losing 50lbs, I underwent several life changing epiphanies; some good, some bad, most terribly disappointing. I was quite satisfied with myself as a reasonably intelligent woman with a decent education who could hold her own in a conversation though it ranged through a number of topics and issues. However, pretty girls got the boys.

For years I prayed to God “please make me pretty so the boys will like me”. After months of dieting and gradual weight loss, I awoke one day to discover that God had sorta answered my prayers: while I will never be a beauty, I discovered that at the very least I now fit into ‘conventional aesthetic norms’: i.e., while no means a willow tree, I was now thin enough to date.

This changed my entire viewpoint. I had gone from being the “girl with the great personality/sense of humour” to something else entirely. What was deeply disappointing to me, however, was that suddenly, the “boys” didn’t care much about my views on predestination, speculative fiction, German existentialist film or the chances of the St George Illawarra Dragon’s in this year’s finals. Conversation had become banal and centered around one thing: when are we gonna get into bed together?

I encountered this mechanism once again alive and well as I tried to “set up” a fireman friend of mine with Lulu. While Greg is an enormous man, he balked when he saw Lulu’s photo, and politely declined on the grounds that he had always been more attracted to slender girls. This left me in the awkward position of concocting a story to spare Lulu’s feelings; but in doing so I found that I had to struggle with feelings of my own.

The old questions emerged: how does your physical appearance change who you are inside? Is a heavy person of less worth than a thin one? Is physical beauty to be exalted? What heppens when age robs you of the beauty of your youth?

The old resentments resurfaced: fine. Its your loss. YOU are the one missing out on a great gal, not me!

The old fears arose: if I am thin now, and I gain weight later, will he love me less?

I was surprised and dismayed at the childlike tenor of these feelings, but I cannot dismiss their validity as they enable me to relate on an intimate level with several female congregants. However, the issue goes far deeper than that when culture runs head first into scripture.

Over the last several months, I have wrestled with the ideas of being a Christian, single woman. I was raised in a post-free love culture where sexual liberty came to be viewed as a civil right. Extra-marital sex was not only condoned, it was actively encouraged. And it was wherever you looked. Even “Christians” came to find excuses to indulge. Reasons ranged from “well if the two people love each other then the sacrament of marriage is present” to “I am a good person. I am sure God will forgive me when the time comes; from some incredibly creative theological tap-dancing, to the outright ignoring of the scriptural witness.

God, however, takes a different view. Fidelity is a component of God’s character, and from God’s nature this commandment flows: as God is ever faithful to us, so should we ever be faithful to each other – especially in matters of intimacy.

Sadly, we live in a culture where physical beauty is pursued with a zeal approaching that of the accumulation of material wealth. Everyone needs to be beautiful, stunning, gorgeous – a SUPERMODEL. Those are the women men want, or so we are told. Intelligence, compassion, kindness, charity, duty, creativity, loyalty and the like are all fine and well in our society, as long as they wrapped up in a package that is “hott”.

Society has taught women that the only way that they will ever feel sexy, or realize they are sexy (which is the primary drive instilled in the teenaged girls of today, I believe) is to have sex. Admittedly, the logic is sound: if I am having sex, it follows that I am sexy.

So the conflict arises: if a woman that does not “fit into aesthetic convention” decides on a life of celibacy, she runs into several issues:

a) the enculturated attitude of many men that they are entitled to a woman of great beauty

b) the difficult question of “am I kidding myself? Am I celibate because I choose to be or do I tell myself that because I am too ugly to sleep with?”

c) the perceived attitudes of society: of COURSE she is celibate – who’d sleep with her?

The ego in this case suffers greatly, and I am not sure that in the climate of our culture – even our CHURH culture – scripture is sufficient to redeem it. A woman is at war with the NEED to know that her celibacy is a holy choice, not an excuse.

So, as I position myself in this broader context I am faced with several issues:

a) as the ‘intern’ at church, I have a certain standard to not only uphold, but to make evident. As a single woman, and one who is actively pursuing (though still struggling with) a celibate lifestyle, how can I stand as an example to other women that might be struggling with the same issue?

b) how does one demonstrate “not doing something anyone can see” by example anyway?

c) how do I struggle against the failings in my own nature that sometimes make me preachy, self-righteous, and sanctimonious in trying to communicate difficult truths in the bible?

d) and how do I reconcile the issues of self-worth and celibacy within myself?

These are not questions I have answers to yet – or rather I DO have answers, I simply need to determine if they are practical, relevant and effective; and I readily acknowledge that in our culture I may never come to any resounding conclusions in that regard. I realize that the Anglican Church has not chosen to make the issues of Christian celibacy a talking point, and so in that regard I am left largely to my own devices, and to seek advice outside of Anglicanism.

From a pastoral point of view, I would be comfortable coaching Lulu towards a Christian lifestyle through open and frank dialog, mutual support, self-reflection, prayer and ‘female empowerment’ ideas; but I am at a loss as to how I can help her with her issues of self esteem. I know from personal experience that the only thing that affirms sexiness is sex. No amount of your friends, your parents or colleagues telling you that you are beautiful can make up for the proof conveyed by experience.

This is a question for which have no answer, and I will frankly admit that it engenders within me deep feelings of helplessness, frustration and sorrow.

Weekly Report: Week One

Church of the Resurrection, Intern’s Weekly Report
Week 1
May 01, 2006 – May 6, 2006

Ecclesiastes 3: 1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

This first week has been a week of assessment, organization, strategy, planning and in a small measure, playing catch-up. I have spent the week making initial pastoral visits with congregants that are known to me already, deepening my familiarity with the upcoming major projects ahead of me (cool school and the day camp), catching up on things that have not yet been done, and trying to get ahead on things that will need to be done.

The seminal feelings I am left with are reflected in the above quoted passage: everything in its own time and in its own season. As much as I would like to get ahead on planning the day camp, there is much that I cannot do until after I have a detailed overview of the day-by-day structure of the camp, and that will not come until after I have attended the orientation on May 27th. Then I will be in a position to move effectively, and in a targeted, focused fashion. As tempted as I was to spend Friday morning inventorying the arts and crafts contents of the church, I also realized the futility of such an exercise “this early in the game”. Any inventory performed now would be out of date in very short order – better to do an inventory closer to the date, then a gap analysis. As tempted as I am to recruit for, announce, publicize and build the cool school, there are key people that need to be spoken to and brought into the process lest I fall into the trap of “doing everything myself” before that can happen; and meeting with those people will not happen for a few days, perhaps even a couple of weeks.

I realize as I write this that a key temptation I need to actively work against is my tendency to “spin my wheels”; to put great effort into something and yet produce only negligible results (such as the hours it would take to inventory the arts and craft resources of the church only to have such an inventory become obsolete within a week).

I know this to be a weakness within myself, and naturally I am struggling with feelings of doubt about resolving this issue simply by acknowledging its existence. My plan for the week, in my personal prayers and devotions, it to meditate on the above section of scripture to try to understand that God’s plan – and by extension, our own destinies – unfold according to His timetable. Wisdom, in this case, is recognizing God’s Sovereignty in this area as well, and submitting to His will while at the same time effectively and efficiently capitalizing on the opportunities I am able to seize on, without wasting energy in futile action.

As the fatigue of the first week begins to settle into me, I am more aware than ever that this internship process must be managed with respect to human limitations; and that I need to be very aware of using my energy effectively, to produce meaningful results, rather than just going “flat out” to prove to those around me that I am doing something.

Day One

i can't wait to get out of the robe. i never can. its either too hot or too cold, cinched wrong and three sizes too big. plus, when i am having a cup of coffee, it induces in me a deep seated paranoia about fast-moving children and large-elbowed congregants. even deborah, duke's wife and ministry partner says i look like some strange sort of "monkette" in the alb. i hate it.

racing up into duke's office after the 10:30 service, i realize that i have to keep it on for a while: i am now the intern - and a priest-in-training. people needed to see me, to put a face to the role so that when i call them up to arrange for pastoral visits and to grovel for volunteers for the daycamp and cool school they will at least remember a short, round, loud woman in a white dress with an ugly white belt that doesn't go with anyone's shoes. it should be enough to anchor me in their memory.

i step into the bathroom of the office to fluff my hair and powder my nose. some might call it vanity;i call it common courtesy. i have a face that startles children and sets dogs to barking, and skin oily enough to make me an unofficial OPEC member; maintaining a basic standard of non-threatening groomedness is basic act of respect towards a community i love and cherish.


besides, i think i am getting a zit.

looking at my reflection, i think about something that duke said in his sermon today, something about the way in which we sometimes tend to "customize" jesus to make him fit conveniently into our lives, and despite my best efforts i think of aj. he once told me that he considered sex outside of marriage acceptable: as long as the two people were in love, the sacrament of marriage was present. he also once spoke of himself having to focus on the 'log in his own eye' before judging others; yet thought nothing of calling me a whore. he sneered at my modest lifestyle, somehow forgetting that Christ himself preached that one should sacrifuce one's own comforts for the good of others. once more i wondered which bible, if any, aj had been studying.

its funny how the people that most loudly proclaim themselves to be christian are the ones that have to. i shake my head. aj is in the past, and he has no place in this brave new world into which i foray save as a faintly sour taste on the back of my tongue. i offer a quick prayer, wondering if praying in a bathroom is sacreligious, and decide that my need to ask God to spare me from ever becoming the type of Christian aj represents outweighs the presence of a toilet, hand sanitizer and a spare can of airwick. then i realize a quick prayer to God to also spare me from becoming a sanctimonious, smug and self-rightous pharisee wouldn't be untoward either.

i think of duke and realize that if you live a life of christian modesty, duty and integrity, you have no need to tell anyone you are a christian. please God, i pray, help me to become the kind of christian that doesn't need to tell anyone that she is a christian.

i step out into the hallway and have a quick chat with karen, our warden, and make preliminary arrangements to meet with her at some point to familiarise myself with basic church administration, and she offers her enthusiastic and unequivocal support. karen is a lovely, raven hair bird of a woman, with a sharp mind and a gentle voice. she is a woman who radiates a sense of dependability and competence, and we talk critical church business for a while - donations, management meetings and where to get really comfortable shoes.

i head out into the sanctuary and begin to mingle with the congregants, letting them see my face and trying not to frighten the children. thank goodness there are no dogs amongst our parishioners.

i have a chat on the stairs with a father that wants to know if he and his wife can send their daughters to the daycamp in the afternoons only, ask sharon if she is taking evening sarcasm enrichment classes, promise to meet up with a congregant who is having trouble with a jewish husband, speak to marion beirfly about how welcome janice is and how we have already swapped numbers and are planning lunch, and begin to round up the troops for our 'fellowship lunch'. today we are taking lisa out for lunch to celebrate her birthday (and to make up for the ritual humiliation of having the entire congregation sing her happy birthday after the service), and we are trying a new restaurant in the beach.

tori races up and i can't help smiling. she's a bright and bubbly 12-year old, and lisa's pride and joy. i know how utterly devastated lisa was when she realized that moving to california meant leaving tori behind in the care of her father; and the fact that her father lives in hamilton is hard on many of us in the congregation as it means after june we will see much less of tori. i look at her bright blue eyes and flaxen hair and think that i had better enjoy her while i can - she's a treasure that may soon be lost to us.


"Lisa"

but for now, all she wants is to try on my shoes, and she's welcome to them.

note to self: as sundays are 18 hour days, do not wear spangly blue slingbacks with two inch heels and a charming retro-style bow on each rounded toe.

tori's happy chatter follows me around as we make sure that everyone that is coming to lunch has directions. i phone jean and george, and am delighted they are coming, and once we have florrie safely delivered to her car via the elevator, tori and i take off for the restaurant. i am oddly touched and pleased at her insistence in coming with me. i roll down the window as we pass lisa heading off to her own car, and i shout that i have her daughter and tell her that if she wants her back she'll have to come to the restaurant. lisa shrugs good naturedly and answers with something the wind steals away and i grin, easing into traffic, bathing in the restful effervescence of tori's non-stop, good natured chatter.

after a few moments of confusion, a small gang of us are settled into the corner of a pub in the east end of toronto - the kind of pub whose upholstery, and clientele, have seen better days; the kind of pub that offers cocktails with breakfast.

corey is in an amazingly cheerful mood, prattling on about how the "kenmore was really sucking up dirt" today as he cleans it faithfully daily so the intakes and filters do not get clogged, waxing rhapsodic about the opportunity he's had to work with his friend part time in a vacuum cleaner store, sharing his enthusiasm with us all as he pulls out a set of magnificent conical polymer canister vac filters for us to touch and feel and oooh and ahhh over. with a big glas of chocolate milk and a plate of sausages and maple syrup in front of him, corey is in heaven, and a strange contentment steals over me as i marvel at God's sheer creativity and sense of whimsy.


"corey: chocolate milk, sausages and syrup and vacuum cleaner filters. who could ask for more?"


"tori"

tori sits beside me, diligently using up my post it notes and pen ink to create a face of...well....post it notes and ink.




the conversation light, cheerful easy and full of friendship and fellowship. i am looking forward, i realize, to getting the group back on track after easter, birthdays and mother's day - but for the time being, "special interest groups" have needs to be met as well, and for the tmie being, i am content to simply sit back and learn what i can from each dynamic.

and so it is with a heavy heart, and a full stomach that i push away from the table and head off to my day job, already mentally parking myself behind my desk and beginning to plan the long week ahead of me.

And so it begins

today i was officially commissioned as the intern at the Church of the Resurrection, and while my work in this area began over two weeks ago, as this is my inaugural day; so too shall this be my inaugural posting.

as i am required to keep a reflective journal of my experiences, i have chosen to do so online, as housing this journal on a remote server has the advantages of a) protecting it from any hard-drive malfunctions my own computer may suffer; and b) allowing me to access it from any remote location.

so without further ado........